๐Ÿ’• where does the love ๐Ÿ’• go? revised 04-21*


Having so much love inside and no place to place it – as it hits hard – overwhelming and overpowering – you realize you’re not going to quit – you can feel the void of where the love was supposed to be go if he’d only permit … That void hurts a million times more than not having somewhere safe for your love to be placed … I will finally admit …

The dark hole does still ache, tremendously and deep – inside of my chest … Paralyzing, way deep down inside – yet numb – from the stark realization that there is nowhere close for me to lay – the love that continuously cries …

The void he has is still there, I feel it with fear and he’s blocking the place and making it hard to find that part of his heart where the love cried to go – him repeating he needed his space …

He lives almost an hour away ๐Ÿ˜ข so I don’t see him as often as my heart would okay … holding me at a distance … unknowingly I think … couldn’t he see we were completely in sync …

Day by day he gets further away from that secret space, He dives straight into that void and it’s deep in his heart … not wanting anyone to know of this place …

Nevertheless, my ache has kept on, sadly aware and realizing there’s nowhere at all, in such a place, for my love to be accepted and given, without losing face …

The ache grows stronger for the love that it’s missed – gut wrenching pain – hurting so bad – slicing straight to my heart that feels as if it may have been dismissed …

That void in him longs to be filled … I see this it’s true – regardless of his fear that my love will get loose and then will depart … like the others – sneaking away … while he’s doing his part …

What he needs to know is that I’m here to stay and we can have what’s deep in both hearts … it’s not included with those shades of gray …

It’s really quite painful when the fear of never having him begins … ever so slowly until the crescendos wear thin … up past the very ceiling that shields you within …

It’s a horrible ache stabbing into my soul … making it leave is my one true goal …

I can promise you, right from the start … I will never depart because it’s worth it to me from the tale of two hearts …

In some ways it halts the love that’s patiently waiting … just to be placed … I understand he doesn’t want it to be in haste … I know there’s love for me in that guarded heart … it’s okay because I already know before he tells me that part …

Tears fall for the love that is right in your face … by wanting to be noticed so much I may break … that makes it impossibly difficult for my love to be placed …

It’s the distancing he does that can be felt in a flash … he neglects to acknowledge any one certain fact …

The love he silently craves … is hiding within but he keeps it so far away that it can’t begin … away from his heart yet she still needs a place … that her love can lie so it won’t just wither away and die …

In his mind he may ask while in his own space … Is it plausible that this secret love has a face? …

is it this best friend that has always been here for me … I’m surprised she hasn’t tucked tail to run and flee … she has told me that she really does love me … maybe she’s waiting on me to see

I yearn to bond with his mind like before and our intimacies that would blow me away so far …

… out in space … and that would keep me screaming his name all over the place …

I felt his defenses spring up from his core … from a secret place deep within him … a place that my heart would love to explore …

Does he feel his void and my crushing ache, while hurting so bad …

… simply because my love craves to be placed …

He used to radiate the thought that my love was approved … simply because he didn’t run … the entire time that he knew …

He seemed to good to be true and I see that in every special thing for me that he’s done … I’m over the top that he’s my boo … it’s not a coincidence that this has begun …

Love tries to escape from the depths of my core … to rush to the void and quickly fill his heart which I adore …

… only finding distance … which makes my love turn around … knowing how priceless our bond that we’ve found … silently begging his beat up heart … not to leave me and not to depart …

… with deep labored breaths that seemed forced from my lungs … yet the void silently warns me that our relationship’s quite young … the void that he has secretly aches … but my love he appreciates so I know sincerely that he wants it to be placed …

The way he makes love to me is wild and off tha chain … it would damn near keep me from being able to maintain …

He would stare at me with such an intense look … his eyes held me prisoner and I became hooked … while doing incredible things to me with no shame … not wanting it to end, this fire we’ve flamed …

It’s all about him … conquering his fear … despite all odds he sees this pretty clear …

that all women are playing games … he’s assumed that I must be the same …

Well, that’s not true and I’m sitting right beside you with no bad remarks … now you see the bond that was shared deep down in both hearts?…

She’s craved it to be … inside of her most secret place … but past demons appear to fill his void right in his face …

… instead …

… doing nothing but making his heart fill with dread … that’s why he feels there’s no room for my love in his head …

… wanting him to report … NO it wasn’t true … yet he believed it so much … it was hard not to misconstrue … being cemented and concreted just because of past little trusts … oh how he silently wanted it all so much …

It will … eventually … haunt him while causing him to wonder yet … Is her love really true … not wanting more than I’m able to give?

All that love I have way deep down inside … waiting to be placed somewhere for my love not to hide …

I have all this love for you bursting inside, away from your doubts in order for your heart to allow me inside …

Letting you get way deep into your stride, trying not to collide with your need for space … while way deep inside, of my secret place … where I’m holding this love that is turned on by you and with an ominous ache … is his void is so huge?

Since the love that I hold onto HARD yet deep down inside, while knowing that it’s not allowed to be placed … but know that I’m also going to try …

He’s protecting his spirit and I can relate while mine, can conquer and divide the demons that harass and take place, causing him keep it from my love that’s shown in his face.

Yet he’s scared to release that small secret place where he let love come close – but he didn’t give place, harboring things that would have made others break.

He then showed me the side of his hero part to, he’s so brave and so strong –

I hear me now and I’m crying for you…

Moving robotically, day by day and shuffling through all the mess in my way.

The weight of that ache, settled deep in my mind, wishing hard and praying loud, screaming for that love to please be found.

Then, maybe his heart will come out and see, that my love needs to fill, that void and him not flee.

With him not wanting it, yet sensing he wanted it so, his heart could be healed by allowing a path for true love to grow. God had surely set them up to meet and get close inside his heart. His spirit had spoken up and with that pic in his mind, damn all of the sudden, he turned from me and groaned, then he closed himself off to the trails of my mind.
I’m holding on, with all of my might, slightly frantic it seems because I don’t want this fight. I want everything to remain the same, with our hot sexy times and yet I still need to know, “are we still exclusive deep down in your mind?”,

…all the while knowing, there’s no room in his heart, for him to be mine.

I knew from the start that I would probably get hurt … deep down to the very core of my heart … He’s that precious to me to have in my life, that he’s keeping his distance doesn’t change the want I have …that’s way deep down in my heart.

Just remember, it all started with his void deep inside, where my love wanted to go and lay down to reside. He’s held me in his strong arms, no fear that I can see, he makes everything negative stay away from me.

Sometimes my love was allowed to get close and deep down inside.

just not quiteโ€ฆ

and that’s partly because my love was secretly keeping his hope alive!

Despite what he showed me that he didn’t want, any part of my love, that I have deep down in my heart …

Secretly he wished for a love so grand that it would put to shame, any past that he had.

He was fighting inside, perilously close to his heart… Whether or not to allow these feelings I’ve felt since the day that we met … he doesn’t have to be concerned because I will never depart …

My hope is that one day, love would be allowed fully to see, and deep enough for the love to “feel“, all snuggly …

and warm way deep down inside, yet needing to rest and being right beside, the place, where his hope let’s my love survive!

With a lot of joy and hope just out of my reach, I knew this routine way better than most, also knowing inside of my deep down space, where I need his void to let my love to be placed.

Teasing me relentlessly, the strings of my heart, and waiting for patience, yet craving him hard.

The ache will never go away, for that person you need, your craving them relentlessly, just wanting your love to get deep down inside and take their void by surprise!

There will be none to replace this one in my heart, he will forever have the key, as he did right from the start …

Asking finally, where does my love go, if not to him? Answer … That love that is his and his alone will just wait around until it’s shown, that is okay to fill that void of his, the unknown …

If that never happens … My love will still be right here … and just loving him anyway through everything, including the tears!

๐Ÿ’‹LIKE MY FB PAGE DEDICATED TO MY BEST FRIEND AND BEYOND ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’œ Finding your best friend with benefits

Read these posts about my bffwb:

Just maybe
Where does the love go

Tears falling down

A real man

The imprint of you on my heart

Why

Agonizing fear

To scared to pray

โค๏ธ Thanxxx for reading and commenting and following โค๏ธ
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7 thoughts on “๐Ÿ’• where does the love ๐Ÿ’• go? revised 04-21*

  1. Reading this brought tears to my eyes, unfortunately Iโ€™m in a relationship where that love is not the way it should be & it just made me miss what those emotions were like, hold on tight bc those type of loves donโ€™t come around too often

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He only lives forty five min away but it’s basically the same I guess LoL ๐Ÿ˜€ He is wonderful and not his fault when I get these feelings. I went into this relationship knowing exactly what he wanted and didn’t want. So that being said, he’s supportive of me and reassures me of my feelings for him even tho he doesn’t feel what I feel but he feels it his own way. That’s okay with me, he’s my best friend and I’m honored he’s in my life!
      Thank you for reading!!!
      LOVING MY VIRTUAL HUGS ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

      Liked by 1 person

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