bitCh watCh ouT fOr me …

Why are you attacking me … because you have no damn right … we are aquaintances at best and just to run your mouth about me when you have no fukkkin clue … I just want you outta my FUKKKIN sight …

When I tell you that your fukkkin with the wrong bitch … That’s an understatement you better heed my words … Because I’m not the one baby girl to mess with like that … you ain’t gonna know but I’m sure you’ve already heard …

Women like you give females a bad name … I will fukkk your world, make you cry and call you out … You have never seen the likes of me and won’t ever see any the same …

You think your cute with your ugly looking ass … I shake my head and laugh out loud because haters are jealous … Wanting to be me instead … smmfh (shaking my MF head) ๐Ÿค”

My name best not flow from your mouth not once more … It’s not a threat it’s a fukkkin promise … I’m not afraid of anyone at all … I have survived bigger and badder than you … you and your life are insignificant and you are regarded as small …

You don’t want this bitch inside me unleashed … bet that little girl … I’m not the type for drama or fake ass hoes … No because do or die … I’m gonna live in peace …

It’s time to pray for your emotional well being and your pride … Don’t play dumb it doesn’t suit your look … You started this deciding it was best to talk about me … your stupidity amplified …

Watch over your shoulder … underestimate me if you choose … Better not let your guard drop … I’m giving you the clues …

To stay away from me and my name and my life … don’t think I won’t cut you with a knife … all of that needs to be away from your lips … Pray hard little girl because I’m old school hood … It’s gonna be a MF trip …

Haters like you make me STRONG … around town your character has been shadowy and wrong … IDC if you like me or not … but bitch when I come for you … imma take away your pride and what little sanity you got …

No threats it’s just true … I knew your true colors would eventually come out … Females like you are a dime a dozen bet that … Now little girl is your time to pout …

I’m damn sure not afraid … even at my age … to fight you like a man … and now I see why you got beat up … you don’t want to Fukkk with me during my rage … bet that – wassup …

Watch for me little girl … I know how to play the violin with my hand … You may need a serenade one night … while you see me circling… causing you to hurl as you sink into the quicksand ….

Beware I’m just fukkkin crazy enough … to fukkk your world and I’m not gonna stop … I’m old school so you will never see … any damn thing that would make me scared, so come on now chop … chop …

Bye bye bitch because … your stupidity shows along with your fakeness … What did you expect when all I heard you can do is call the fukkkin laws … I’m cool like that … bringing it to your awareness …

You are trite, stupid and just plain mean, talking about me and I’m sure everyone else … Your say your guy hits you and I now see why … Be concerned with your own overgrown fat funky ass look … it don’t a genius to see that you’re an addict and you’re hooked …

Bye bye bye I’m feeling better than I was … Bitches like you ain’t nothing to me … and that is just because … You ain’t right YET damn I’m free!!!

ยฉchellesrawthoughts

summary

This written after a hater told someone crap about me … When she doesn’t have a clue about me does not know me … because if they tell one person fake crap about you they will tell another the same … She’s disrespectful, weak, cowardly and gonna be bait because I’m gonna take her down it’s in her fate …
๐Ÿ’Thank you for reading commenting and following๐Ÿ™Œ

cOmpLeteLy me ๐Ÿ‘ 

foreword: This post touches on people’s hurts and the walls they put up after being hurt, whether it’s emotionally or physically ~ when this happens they usually shut everyone out, especially if they have been hurt time and again, but if they are blessed, they have that one person who they let in … A lover, friend, sibling, etc … In my case, it is my best friend and beyond ~ my soulmate … I hope this brings hope that even though people suck … Don’t give up on finding one that you can 100% trust!

cOmpLeteLy me ๐Ÿ‘ 

People mistakingly believe ~ thinking they know me, because of what I show ~ it has to be true ~ they love to gossip and make fun … while passing judgement on what they see and think they know ~ but all they REALLY know, is what I show … because BITCHES I’m in control …

I’m so much more than they can see … Never can I allow them to see …

๐Ÿ’„… COMPLETELY ME …๐Ÿ‘ 

I made the mistake when I was so young ~ to trust a little to easily … I learned quite fast that people suck ~ that’s why there’s but one that cared enough for me ~ to go through the darkness and slay the dragons for me …

So ~ he’s the only one I can show the real me … Because always with him I’m …

๐Ÿ‘  COMPLETELY ME …๐Ÿ’„

It pains me deep inside that some see me ONLY as a bitch, a slut, no good, lazy, stupid, a problem, a burden or they think I just don’t care …

… when …

โœ๏ธAll I do is care … not what people think so much … but care that I’m seen for MY heart … not MY mistakes …

… I cared to much and years ago that almost broke my soul …

๐Ÿ““And still now … I care … But the hardness I learned to use to cover it up … Masks me now, so …

… THEY CAN NEVER SEE …

๐Ÿ‘  … COMPLETELY ME …๐Ÿ’„

I was hurt to much by fake souls acting like they should be close to me … They ruined it for all with one exception you see ~ my tough exterior will never show them what I don’t want them to see ~

… they will never see …

๐Ÿ’„ cOmpLeteLy me

They don’t have permission to see, the complete me or the me I was always supposed to be … I’m NOT GOING TO ALLOW THEM ~ TO HURT ANYMORE OF ME … There’s only one allowed inside of me ~ just so he can see and that’s my soulmate that’s free ~ free to see EVERY part of me ~ because always with him I’m

๐Ÿ’„ … COMPLETELY ME …๐Ÿ‘ 

The hard exterior I acquired
… in order to be … came at a heavy price you see … so the softness inside … could not be crushed one more time in me …

โšก Because … I only show them what I want them to see …

Because I’m so much more than anyone is allowed to see … They do not deserve to see … the me that I was supposed to be … only what I want them to know is what I show …

because BITCHES I’m in control ๐Ÿ’ช

it’s all about him being able to see … since he’s number one with me … Because always with him I’m …๐Ÿ‘ฃ

๐Ÿ‘  … COMPLETELY ME …๐Ÿ’„

Not many have made it past the hardness that’s shielding me ~ only a handful in reality ~ because only a few deserved to remain with me … because they can hang with me and be loyal to me and those who can’t …โœ๏ธ they can never see … the me I was always meant to be … The main population indeed … was never going to deserve ~

๐Ÿ‘ … COMPLETELY ME …๐Ÿ’„

I can be sensitive, sweet, stubborn, goofy, quick to forgive, discerning, and even sometimes afraid … The last few came with time and deep pain …

๐Ÿ““ Shouldn’t I show only certain parts of me … that the hardness hides inside me … But it won’t change the fact ~ that I won’t allow any to see … The me that I was truly meant to be …

But ~ always with him I’m …

COMPLETELY ME …๐Ÿ‘ 

Others see bits of what I permit them to see … So, call me names or talk bad about me ~ because although I do care ~ never will you see … the reality of me … To be able to get past and inside of me … because there is only that one ~ that is free to see ~ because always with him I’m …

๐Ÿ’„… COMPLETELY ME …๐Ÿ‘ 

THERE’S JUST SO MUCH MORE TO ME THAN I ALLOW ANYONE TO SEE …

Only my best friend and beyond is free ~ to hang with me …๐Ÿ•ถ๏ธ

… people pretend to care and it’s plain to me ~ it’s for heartless reasons you see …

… that no one cares …โšก

… because of greed and jealousy ~ however in reality ~ no one really cares about you nor do they care about me … unless by magic and grace … true angels appear to me …

Those precious few that stick close … are the ones that you don’t have to fear and you shall allow them to be ~ keepers of the keys to your soul indeed ~ so the the fake ones won’t see ~ so never again will I show anyone but him … Because …

… always with him I’m …

๐Ÿ‘  COMPLETELY ME …๐Ÿ’„

Those angels are rare … Don’t let them go … hold onto them tightly ~ Mine are precious to me ~ my angels … They are down for me ~ Those angels are very few you see and there’s only one that can ever see …

๐Ÿ’„… Completely me …๐Ÿ‘ 

If you don’t know me ~ and all you see … is a mask hiding a big part of me … Don’t be surprised because indeed you won’t need ~ to actually see ~ the me that I’m supposed to be …

Once you care enough to climb over my walls and dig in with me … I’m loyal to mine … and when they’re loyal to me …

That’s when they will see …

… COMPLETELY ME …๐Ÿ’„

ยฉchellesrawthoughts

๐Ÿ‘  thank you for reading, commenting, and following ๐Ÿ’„

What makes someone tick who has an ugly and hateful heart? ๐Ÿ’“

Most people love me or they hate me. I could care less, but I wasn’t always so nonchalant.ย  I don’t really like most people, in general, because the majority are not real and use people to get what they want. They put good people down and lie about them to take the focus off themselves and what no good they are up to. I speak, of course, from my own experiences.

People that stoop to those levels do not care who gets hurt in the process as long they get they want and they could care less.

What makes someone that is that ugly and hateful inside tick?

I believe the evil that lies inside those type of people feed off the good hearted human beings like I described.

I also don’t want to hear that they were abused as a child or that they were hurt by the opposite sex and that is what makes them have an ugly heart. I was abused as a child and I am also a SURVIVOR of domestic violence.ย  I’m not that way. I’ve know people that had similar things happen and they didn’t turn out like that! Being abused is no excuse for bad behavior.

There is something evil inside of them anyway for them to hurt others andย  then say they hurt people because they were abused. That’s crap, because they would have been hateful and hurt those people if they’d never been abused, why?ย  Because it’s in their very character. You either have that inside you or you don’t.

The excuse of abuse just takes the responsibility off their shoulders. They are cowards who blame others their shortcomings. That’s what gets my blood boiling!

What also gets me angry is that those evil no goods act like they have a God given right to treat people any way they choose.ย Wtf is that? That is laughable but it’s true and it how dare they!

THEY DON’T HAVE THAT RIGHT!

It’s not okay!

It’s up to us (the people they may target) …

… TO NOT ALLOW anyone to treat us with disrespect.ย 

I have zero tolerance for those type of people. What is the purpose of their existence? Nasty people like that, the ones they show no compassion for others orย  don’t seem to care about others is truly a disgusting as well as PITIFUL site.

MOST GET MAD WHEN YOU CALL THEM PITIFUL OR INSIGNIFICANT.ย 

It is almost humorous, if it wasn’t so damn sad.

No matter how someone looks on the outside, that black heart is enough to make them unattractive and ugly, indeed.

I once thought that everyone thought with the same heart that I did.ย 

Boy, WAS I WRONG!

Not everyone has the same heart I do and that was an extremely hard lesson for me to learn. I thought just because I wouldn’t never screw someone over to hurt them like that but I thought everyone else thought the same way but they don’t!

Judgmental people have ugly hearts, as do abusers, control freaks, unhappy people and the list could go on.

Narcissistic tendencies and behavior, arrogant attitudes and no compassion for others are KEY attributes to one with an ugly heart. As far as I’m concerned, anyone that has a heart that is that unattractive, is evil.ย 

Some more than others, but anyone that will hurt someone else ON PURPOSE is evil any which way you look at it!

It blows my mind that most people these days, seem to have nasty hearts and they hurt others on purpose.ย I just don’t “get” that mindset.ย  They seem to get by with it and I just don’t “get” that, either.

In summary, I just don’t understand anyone that enjoys making others hurt and suffer ~ DO YOU?

I eventually learned how to decipher fake from real.

Time will tell because a person cannot fake being something they aren’t, not for long anyway.ย  They are going to slip up, no doubt about it. Women are more likely to slip up than men, in my opinion. Women are led by emotions, men are not.

PAY ATTENTION … To what your gut tells you inside.

One thing you can bet money on is that they can’t fake it for to long, until their true character appears. Just be patient.

It’s just a matter of WHEN?ย 

I’ve observed that true personalities SHINE THROUGH within three months and take no longer than six months, generally speaking.ย 

However, I’ve known someย  that have taken up to a year before their trueness showed through. Those are the exceptions to the rule.

Those are the ones that you don’t expect and because of that, you end up getting hurt worse.

… Real people recognize other real people and they also recognize who’s NOT real.

It’s a shame, but use caution when meeting someone for the first time. Whether it’s a potential friend or lover, don’t let them fully “in” until at least 3 months have passed. You think your being mean because of that ~ no, you are protecting yourself.

Being able to discern through to people’s true nature is a gift as well as an acquired and learned ability.ย 

It’s actually learned through hard core life situations.ย  It is not something you just automatically know nor is it for the weak minded individual.ย 

Only the strong will survive โœ‹

Have you ever wondered what goes through someone’s mind when they intentionally use and hurt people?

How do they justify it within themselves to make someone’s life miserable – ON PURPOSE – even if just for a moment?

I’m sure it’s because they are miserable within themselves and their own life, which makes them yearn to bring others down around them. They cannot stand to see others around them happy.

Like the cowards they are, with the games they playโœŒ๏ธ they could really push a weaker minded individual over the edge! Big bully’s is are all they are and it’s NOT attractive.

I had to really push through things life threw at me and I did it without making others cry. I never hurt someone on purpose, even when they hurt me.ย  It’s just not me. I have a heart.

Are ugly hearts really that delusional and arrogant to think it’s truly okay to bring others to their knees?

They are disgusting individuals, the cockroaches of society is the perfect description.

Weaklings, because they hide behind and hurt real people with big hearts in order to blend in and to make themselves feel like they are somebody.ย 

They really are transparent when you become gifted in discerning their true nature.

Transparency at it finest ~

They feast on …

people that are going through hard times, weighed down by the weight of their circumstances.

The weak scaredey cats feed on those unfortunate ones and then dive in for the kill. I hate someone being a bully.

That truly pisses me off. I’ve been the victim in something similar before, a few times in my life and it makes my blood boil to see someone being manipulated in that fashion. I am now A SURVIVOR!

Cowards have radar for weakness and they use it to zone in on those that have some weakness BUT it’s not your fault if you fall for their lies ~ the first time! It takes getting burned a few times before you get good at spoting those types when you first met them.ย 

How are you supposed to automatically know, unless your told or shown? I had to learn the hard way, no one gave me a heads up ๐Ÿ˜ž

Hold you head up ~ just proceed with caution.ย 

That’s why I get so upset.ย  Those big fat babies won’t pick on an individual that stands up to them.ย 

Once I began to stand up to these types, their bark is noticably worse than their bite.

I eventually learned how to take those losers down. I will stand up to them now with no problem.ย 

I’m no longer afraid of those with hateful and ugly hearts that hurt on purpose.

My question remains though ~ why do people walk around on eggshells around those type of folks?

They need to be held accountable for their hideous actions, in my opinion and I will call them out on their shit. They hate that and use righteous indignation when you do but I see right through that …


… FINALLY …

Experience leads you to knowledge which gives you the courage and righteous anger with meekness to stand up to them.

Anger is needed to give you the boost to say something to them.ย  Use your righteous anger and meekness does not mean weak like most think.ย  Meekness means …

… STRENGTH UNDER CONTROL …

You will also learn to listen and recognize your gut feeling on any individual orย  situation.

REMEMBER THIS:ย  Your gut feeling will NEVER lie to you.

I have never understood the mentality of Stupidity that enjoys causing emotional pain on purpose. What kind of sick freak does that?

There is just no valid reason for anyone to be hateful and mean toward someone else hurting them simply because they feel the need to in order to feel better about themselves.ย 

Kindness costs nothing and it’s positive, and causes less wrinkles and it’s contagious!

Kindness given to someone makes them happy and in turn it makes that person want to show kindness to someone else!

Be kind to someone today!

๐Ÿ’™ Thank you for reading, commenting, and following ๐Ÿ’š

ZERO tolerance for STUPIDITY

I’m pretty sure that the devil singles me out, knowing drama will follow me, no matter how much I try to stay away from it.

I’m a Christian, though backslidden, thru and thru … However, know this: I love Jesus with my whole heart … they don’t know me … But He does …

Why do they hate on me? They are jealous He tells me. Of my little bit of nothing? God says, no, they are jealous of your heart.

Your told to show His love, but human we are, and I don’t believe the God I know, will blame me for protecting myself … Again from poison,

rebel flag, unattractive, racist, ugly people that have insecurity issues

… think that they can talk to souls any way they choose … I’m here to tell him, it’s not okay … Not with me anyway.

Hurting people, hurt people, because they think the world owes them. They are weak minded individuals, but yes they all deserve love.
Not from me however, because I’m here to put that lie to to rest, chuckling inside knowing the world doesn’t owe anyone anything!

Those are no good, greedy, know it all’s, that know nothing at all, but how to put people down in order to make themselves feel good.

Weak ~ amusing ~ pitiful

“Lol” to myself,

They are so pitiful and sad to me, but karma will have hers … Inevitably, so if you can ~ hold on and watch …

They will hang themselves … stand up to them, never back down and that right there will scare them seriously all around.
I wish they could see how ugly they are inside, and did I mention pitiful?

Cut all ties, because toxic is poison, to the gentler ones with big hearts, also tough on the outside, yet so fragile on the inside.

Take a deep breath and tell yourself ~ you are worth it and you will get through this because you have no other option.

Never let them see you sweat,

… BUT …

Take notes and know that they are INSIGNIFICANT in your life, they deserve no kindness from you (others can minister to this one), because that’s what I gave and that turned them against me,

Insecurity is evident … You can’t be nice to the deviled souls.

Watch them, you scare them and, in turn, they are trying to fake you out.

Listen to your gut, IT WILL NEVER LIE. TRUST YOU.

NEVER THEM.

You don’t need to be accepted by trolls such as that. You shouldn’t want to be nice to rats …

Hold your head up and remember,

ZERO tolerance for STUPIDITY …

.. your better than that ..

โค๏ธ Thank you for reading, commenting and following ๐Ÿ’š

…. 5 ways to wait positively, while hoping to be noticed in the writing world …

Waiting, as a writer, to get noticed or to land a writing position is painstakingly hard as well as slow, when your new and trying to make a name for yourself and having little or no experience under your belt. You just know that is your passion.

There is a lot of work that goes along with getting yourself “out there” for a company or someone in authority to see your writing passion and skills. You need to build a portfolio of writings and this takes time. That’s why I started my blog, that and I had hoped to learn how to make money with it as well.

You may apply for 1,000+ jobs and get nothing. You may get a few these I received,

… “Dear Melodie M, Thank you for your application regarding a freelance writing position. After further review of your credentials, we will not be moving forward with the hiring process at this time” … Blah, blah, blah …

All these things together will put you into a funk and there are five crucial ways that you can stay positive while you are waiting!!!

I get on a roll and write two or three blog posts and then nothing for over a week . Anyone else have this problem?

I’ve applied for at least thirty remote jobs in one day for every day these past two months. I’m determined and I’m not stopping until I land one.

However, it gets so crazy, once you have done this every single day for two months without stopping, it completely wears on your nerves. Applying, rewording your letters and bio, rewording your resume, creating numerous profiles on websites that employers go to when they are looking to hire writers, it gets old and making all those profiles and applying daily with no reply or only receiving refusals, doesn’t have a very positive effect on you, I know!

It’s work to remain positive and to keep that passion burning bright!

But you can’t give up, and here are some ways I try to stay positive through those dark times:

1) One way to wait is not to get mad at yourself if your not writing at the moment. Don’t beat yourself up about not publishing or starting a blog post. Just accept that and allow yourself to relax and do things you may not do when your at the top of your writing game. I know I love to play Words With Friends because it stimulates my mind yet relaxes it as well. Don’t feel guilty just enjoy it! Allowing yourself to just relax is a big deal, so do it!

2) If your like me and seeing double letters on a page, you seriously need to tear yourself away from anything having to do with writing and job seeking. Spending time with friends and family is a positive way to spend your waiting time. Go out to lunch, go get your nails done, go to park or hang at home. The world will not end if you take a couple of days off from writing and/or applying from writing jobs.

3) Do something you haven’t done before! Take a hike, visit a new place, try out some new intimate things with your partner or just take a nap! Doing something you normally don’t do will help you while your waiting and it won’t seem like tedious work when you return to it!

4) Help others while your waiting. This is a sure fire way to get your mind off YOU.

You can also continue this when your sending out resumes and writing your next blog post! Helping others ALWAYS helps us inside as well! It’s a win-win situation!

5) If writing is your passion, like it is mine, then take time while your waiting to mentally prepare for when you return writing. Maybe your getting tired of it, maybe it’s getting to be to much! Writing and sending out applications and tweaking your resume are perilous duties when your downcast. So pep yourself up, give yourself a pep talk. Remind yourself why you love to write in the first place! If your mentally prepared for this, then you can change your feelings and stop feeling so downcast about it!

Positive thinking is the basis of these tips.

It does work because it has worked for me in the past. It takes a lot of mind power and control but it CAN be done if your determined enough.

Those are my little ways of breaking through the drudgery while breaking into a writing career. It is not for the weak of heart that’s for sure!

Keep doing it until you get what you want!

๐Ÿ’™ Thank you for reading, commenting and following ๐Ÿ’œ

WTF

What makes some people disrespect OTHER people, for no substantial reason? Have you ever wondered that?

Well I certainly have, especially now because I’m experiencing an outright disrespectful person in my own life. He’s almost to the point of graduating from verbal to physical abuse, in my opinion.

This specific person in my life is completely disrespectful to me, constantly. This person blatantly disrespects me, as if he owns me.

He is close to me in proximity so I won’t disclose his name. This man has yelled at me, gotten right up close and personal and in my face more than once, and I don’t know the reason behind that hatred toward me.

I was told it was because of the fact that I have dated outside of my race (remember, I’m in the Bible belt), and he didn’t like that. It is none of his business who I date, period. I could day the same thing about him, that I didn’t respect him for being in prison for murder for most of his adult life. I’m not one to hold anyone’s past in their face, but don’t think I won’t say something if the opening is there.

Racism is dominant in most of areas here in East Texas, some more than others.

That can’t; however, be the entire truth about his reason because I know a friend of theirs and she has also dated black men before. He doesn’t treat her that way, he’s usually in a good mood around her.

No, he verbally attacks his adult daughter and me. Why, I have no clue, but he regularly pounces on us for no reason. There is NEVER a good reason to verbally abuse and attack someone. You can get your point across much better in a calm discussion.

People that are that hateful are pitiful in my eyes, especially when they do absolutely nothing to change themselves. It shows what a coward they are and how weak they are as well.

I do my best to ignore him, but it’s difficult when he’s in my face screaming as loud as he can. There is no sense in all that stupidity, yet he clings to it like it’s his life preserver.

Last night he did it again. It’s like he senses some weakness inside of me and he pounces and attacks verbally.

He’s actually pulled a chair out from under me and while I was in the process of trying to get up and away from him, he pulled it and my back was twisted pretty bad. I have a blog post written about that very incident.

So yes, I’m more than a little pissed off that people on that level actually think they can disrespect me and I’m just going to allow it. Has he lost his mind?

Your probably wondering why I haven’t gone off on him yet? His wife is a dear and precious gift to me and I wouldn’t disrespect her for the world. In my opinion, if I were to lower myself to ball him out, it would disrespect her. I’m old school and I don’t deal with people on that level. I’m not one to do that. If I don’t have anything else, I have my good and loyal character and I intend on keeping it.

Character shows what you do when no one is looking. Would you do the right thing? For example: if you wanted to cheat on your partner with someone, would you do it if no one found out about it? That shows a bad character.

Those are the type of people that you cannot trust. There is no way I would cheat on my man even if no one found out about it because I would know about it. Plus, I respect him and our relationship a lot more than that. I’m better than that. I also don’t want bad karma in my life. What you put out comes right back to you, and I only want to put good stuff out there. I’m above this petty man.

This man however, I feel is potentially dangerous and it’s only a matter of time before he loses control altogether and hurts someone. I don’t want that someone to be me. People like that don’t stop, they just get worse.

I’m worried for his daughter and his wife because his wife will protect their daughter before she let’s their daughter get hurt. I’m afraid if that happens, she will get hurt in the process.

Like I said, it’s only a matter of time. He’s a ticking time bomb at present. I’ve told her that but she won’t listen because he’s getting counseling. In her mind, he’s trying but outwardly he is just the same. Bless her heart, she’s in denial and I can’t get through to her.

People like him ALWAYS get caught because they are deceitful, liars, con artists and furthermore they do not care about anyone, not even themselves. If a person loved themself, they couldn’t be screaming at another person in anger. There’s no way, so it obvious he hates himself. I know the sights because I hated myself for the longest. Even do, I never treated anyone in this horrible way.

I know this, I’m a SURVIVOR of domestic violence. My ex and I used to physically fight and I lost everytime. A woman is just not made to win a fight with a man, unless she has a weapon. I’m not willing to go to jail for the rest of my golden years for hurting this man, so I show on the outside that he’s not bothering me. I keep a straight face but I’m boiling inside at this vermin.

However, that’s getting old as well, so pray for me, because I’m planning on having a heart to heart talk with his wife within the next couple days.

I said all of that to say this. I hope this shows y’all how it makes someone feel if they are being disrespected. So, if you are reading this and are verbally abusing someone, STOP. STOP killing them with screams and making them feel as if they don’t matter and don’t exist. Also, STOP yelling at people for no f’ing reason furthermore, there is NO good reason to yell at your partners friend, UNLESS your disrespected first. I have never done anything but show this man respect, as God is my witness, I mean that from my heart.

If your experiencing this type of treatment (from your partner, neighbor, friend, etc…) like I’ve described, then please reach out to someone because it is considered DV abuse.

So, in order to STOP feeling like a piece of crap and to STOP feeling like I don’t exist – I write. I also inwardly concentrate as hard as I can, while telling myself that I DO matter!

It took me a very long time to feel that way and I’m not going to let anyone abuse me again. I mean that!

I tell myself that through my tears when I’m upset at this horrible person, because he’s not a man. A REAL man would not act in such a way.

I give myself pep talks all the time, just to keep myself from falling in that hideous trap of lying thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it works and the black hole doesn’t devour me, other times I just have to ride it out.

This last post I wrote will give you insight to that black hole. I suffer from unmedicated adult ADHD and the stress associated from this person is magnified by five hundred in my head, when he’s throwing his anger around. Especially so, when my dark ADHD thoughts come pouring in like a flood.

There’s going to come a time where I am fed up and I go off on him.

Would y’all blame me? I’d really like your thoughts on this!

There’s got to be a way that I can get through to him to stop f’ing doing this to me. I mean who the hell does he think he is to feel that he has a special priveledge of attacking me verbally any time he f’ing wants to?

WTF DO I DO?

Does anyone out there understand where I’m coming from?

Comments welcomed!

โค๏ธ Similar blog post here!

๐Ÿ’™LIKE my fb page that focuses on DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. โค๏ธWe offer encouragement, local resource information for their area, emotional support, and we help them get in touch with the DV HOTLINE to talk confidentiality to find a safe plan for them to leave (if it’s a partner, if it’s a neighbor like I’ve described, there may be other action you can take)

๐Ÿ’šDOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE NUMBER ~ 1-800-799-7233

1-800-799-SAFE

๐Ÿ’™Contact the DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE WEBSITE for any information you desire to know.

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Racism ~ suxxx

I’m writing this on the wake of these New Zealand killings of innocent people. Bless their hearts. They were in their place of worship, worshipping and these white supremacists decided that it was a good time to take their lives??? REALLY?????

Shocking? Yes, it is. I’m from the south of the United States, so I’m definitely schooled in racism. I was raised to be racist but thankfully that never stuck. I just don’t understand having problems with someone simply because they are a different color, or they are of a different nationality, or they have a different beliefs and religion than I do. That doesn’t make them bad people.

What was the point in killing those poor people in their place of worship? And then recording it? Was this supposed to make them bigshots in some way? It makes them disgusting and pitifully weak in the real world and around real compassionate people!

Believe that – there was a purpose, those type of deep racist and ignorant people always have a purpose for how they do things, even if it’s not obvious to us (the public).

I certainly do NOT want to hear because God told me to! I’m tired of hearing that someone has killed someone in God’s name.

First of all God would NOT tell someone to kill anyone.

He would not tell anyone that no matter what their differences, He would tell us to show Christ to them. He would not have us pointing fingers. Kind of like in the 1800’s, when the Catholics were killing the Protestants and vise-versa. Supposedly, in God’s name, and I just shake my head because there again, they are blaming God for their own stupidity and ignorance.

Time will tell on the WHY they did this and what was their purpose? I’m sure it was partly because of their religion. I don’t like the radical Muslims, like Isis, but the Muslim people for the most part are good, quiet and loving people. You just don’t end a life because someone is different than you. You just DON’T DO THAT!

I don’t know, but to just do what they did and how they did it is CRAZY to say the least. I pray that they are caught and have the most massive laws thrown at them.

Where has the compassion gone for others, other than ourselves?

We are ALL HUMAN BEINGS.

I guess that means nothing to the type that just massacred those 49 people. To me, it’s spiritual. The demons definitely were in charge of that/those person/people. That’s the only thing that makes sense to me. Y’all have too remember, I come from the Bible belt!

The root of this type of CRAP is RACISM. I see it daily here in the South and I know it’s dominate in other states and even in other countries. I promise you though, it is NOTHING like it is here in the South, of the United States of America. I totally LOATHE racism.

We ALL BLEED RED just like Jesus BLED ON THE CROSS!

PEOPLE we have got to unite and come together and make the statement THAT IS NOT OKAY to kill people for their differences.

Make an example out of these out of control white folks, please!

smdh๐Ÿ˜ž I did read yesterday that Facebook, Twitter and YouTube are removing those awful videos as soon as they are posted. You have to congratulate them for doing this. I’m sure it’s taken more than one person to handle that task. If you see a post that is in fact that awful video of the massacre, please report it to the social platform you are on.

Let me know in the comments your thoughts on this horrid happening.

๐Ÿ’• Thanxxx for reading and commenting and following

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Dead inside… Is all I see…..

All he wants to do is YELL…
His eyes so evil and black…
Dead inside…… As he yells and screams at anyone in his path.
So what, your miserable inside?
Who cares after you hurt us one by one, until there is no one left to hurt.

This man is no one to me and
Apologizes mean zero because it will all happen again, just give it time.
He’s not to be trusted, in this state.
I’m worried for my girl because all she wants, is for him to be fixed.

I can’t see him being fixed. Not after I saw the evil and black eyes up close…
Yelling at me….. Dead inside…..
There is no other word for him… He is an abuser through and through.

No feelings for anyone but his big fat baby self,
No respect for her or her family
I’m scared of what he may do, if he blows up

Terror rushes in on me…
Tears run down my face as I shake while putting this down
So others can see, how horrid he can really be.

I used to see the good inside, but no more..
I guess he brushed that to the side. With my anger problem, I can control mine but his, you can see, is
Uncontrollable. That’s what makes him scary.

He sees no boundaries, none will stop him when in his anger….
My gut says watch him… He’s dangerous and I trust my gut because it has never lied.

It’s sad but oh so true
He’s no longer cares for himself, so be aware he doesn’t care for you.
That makes him a danger… To anyone in his path. My back will tell you that.

I won’t hide from him because I once proclaimed I would never again be abused….. Especially by this little man.
Deep down, I’m scared because
He no longer cares.

God keep us all safe from him
and his anger that is all around him. We all need You Lord, to stop him with Your mighty hand.

Let nothing happen to us but only to him if his anger comes once again.
Karma is a bitch and God’s wrath is worse… Not caring about that will definitely leave you with a curse.

I’m still shaking, my back throbbing
Hurting for my friend more than me. She’s to good a woman for this jerk to see.

Keep her safe Lord that he may listen to her and receive some help for his issues,
Leaving us all alone once more.

๐ŸŒผ afterword ๐ŸŒบ

Exes aren’t the only abusers, there are friends even neighbors that will pounce on you in their fit of rage.

๐Ÿ˜žLike my fb page SURVIVING YOUR ABUSIVE EX

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP or they have been abused by someone they know……. KNOW THAT YOUR NOT ALONE!

Contact the NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE AND WEBSITE NOW. (see below)

They will get you out SAFELY.

โค๏ธ

1-800-799-7233

1-800-799-SAFE

๐Ÿ’™ HOTLINE #โค๏ธ

๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ’™ Thanxxx for reading, commenting, and following ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ˜Š